Remember? Being a kid, that is.  How so many of us were given the message, implicitly or otherwise, that we can be whatever we want to be.  Encouragement and motivation were not in short supply.  The implication being that the world was our oyster, and we could make of it what we would.  Green fields and blue skies await us.  We but have to enter in.

     For some, this early scenario plays itself out quite well.  Perhaps one is born into wealth.  Or possesses great natural beauty.  A keen intellect.  A penchant for hard work.  A charisma that charms and pulls in friends, lovers, and strangers alike.  There are any number of things which, while no guarantee of a fulfilling life, can certainly go a long way towards making it so.

     You know where this is headed, right?  Yep, not many of us have all, or even some, of those advantages.  Consequently, the road to adulthood is a slow, disillusioning march into reality.  And once reached, that grown-up world often conspires in ensuring that that reality only increases in intensity,.  We can feel misled, duped even, in once being told we were special, that our presence is irreplaceable, that what we provide is unmatched.

     That is the reason the adult world is filled with attempts to replicate the childhood message so long debunked.  Bookshelves are filled with self-help manuals exhorting us to love ourselves, recognise our uniqueness, embrace our authentic selves.  Motivational gurus hold cult-like events where the audience chants "I am somebody!", "I am more than enough!", and "I am beautiful!"  And, of course, social media is rife (albeit often inauthentically) with all and sundry proclaiming their worthiness, their talents, their accomplishments, their beauty, the wonder that is they.  All of which is really a grown-up version of youth's hopeful optimism.

     The problem is that no matter how many body positivity campaigns are held, career guidance seminars offered, and support networks engaged, at the end of the day, the task of overcoming life's challenges is Sisyphean. There is always someone younger, prettier, smarter, wealthier, more accomplished, driving a better car and used to being fawned over.  Not the case for everyone, mind you.  There are those for whom life really is a cabaret.  They may still have some struggles and periodic dips, but they are, by and large, the favoured few.  For them, life (and individuals for that matter) swipe right.  The rest of get banished to the far left.  

     Albert Camus has argued that the absurd hero sees life as a constant struggle, without hope. Any attempt to deny or avoid the struggle and the hopelessness that define our lives is an attempt to escape from this absurd contradiction. An honest assessment concludes that we are far less special than we we are led to believe.  Far more mundane.  Far more replaceable.  Whilst holding down an important job, we work under the illusion that no one can really fill our shoes.  And then we leave the position only to find out that everything carries on just fine without us. Missed? Not so much.  We labour under the pretence that a significant other sees us as a "one and only", but then watch them move easily on to replicate every facet of the relationship with a baker's dozen of new recruits.  Any illusion of exclusive status is thus shattered into a thousand pieces.

     As you may have gathered, this is not a pep talk, more a reality check.  Sometimes, our very survival relies on, if not accepting, at least acknowledging our status in the world.  Sadly, this often results in life being lived in bitterness and despair.  I suppose, for some living in manageable delusion, i.e., ignorance is bliss territory, it is an effective strategy.  As is continuing to fight against it.  Keep pushing the stone up the hill no matter how may times it rolls back down.  Understand that there are those, the fortunate few among us, who well never be able to fully grasp the futility and discomfort involved in such a task.  They may even, unwittingly or otherwise, actually contribute to the painful climb.  Some are destined to be the thorn, others the side in which it is thrust.  For those of us unable to ignore both memory and circumstance, we must settle for but breathing day by day by day.